Inversnecky

Property firms’ collapse takes centuries off construction techniques

News that a property developer that has worked in the area and a highlands construction firm have both gone bust has led to a crisis in the Inverness property boom.

With an inexplicable lack of builders now in the fastest growing town city in the known universe, prospective home-owners are now resorting to medieval construction techniques, including straw, mud and stone.

Developers of the new town at Tornagrain have admitted that the plans have been modified to make the houses from cardboard found drifting throuh the centre of Inverness.

Inversnecky’s guide to Inverness in the summer-time

At bloody last, summer (of a fashion) has arrived in Inverness, and with it, the start of the Easter holidays and the beginning of the tourist season.

The Highland Capital is now resplendent with life and sunshine, and to commemorate this once-in-a-year event, Inversnecky is proud to bring any passing visitors to the town city our guide to the top sights of Inverness worth taking in:

1. The Castle.  No you can’t go in.  No it’s not that old.  Yes it’s pink.
2. Riverside views.  This time next year, work might have begun on the flood defences, so enjoy the view of the river while you can.
3. Scotland’s finest and largest collection of roadworks, streetscaping and other engineering detritus.
4. More barbers and hairdressers per square mile than any other conurbation in the northern hemisphere.
5. Albert Roux’s brand new restaurant: no doubt top notch cuisine, but will they be able to use the apostrophe correctly on their menus and provide half-decent service, unlike most other eateries in town?
6. A statue with magical, brain-capturing properties that attracts Goths and Emos to its steps.

Readers are invited to contribute their own favourite features of Inverness, using the comments box below…