Good weather, dope smells, and dirty Glaswegians all leave area after festival

Organisers of Dores’ biggest music festival have hailed last weekend’s RockNess a huge success, although reports have arisen stating that the smell of cannabis has only now wafted away from the railway station, and commuters in the Highland Capital are slowly coming back down to earth.

“Honestly, you couldn’t move around the station last weekend,” reported one member of station staff. “Not just due to the crowds of mucky, under-dressed teenagers from arse ends of Glasgow; but also you just, like, couldn’t be bothered, man! Life’s too short for anything except eating quavers and pies at 3am. However, the air’s cleared up and we all feel a lot better now.”

With the festival bringing the usual complaints from south Loch Ness locals, drugs arrests, and the obligatory death, life in the town city can now go back to normal. Until Belladrum, of course, which will mean the area preparing for the inevitable deluge of rain…