Builders to receive subsidies for building on flood plains

Flooding could become an even more regular occurrence in Inverness in the coming months, with the announcement from Highland Council that it is going to see if it can beat previous flood records.  Plans to encourage mass housing construction on some of the town city’s worst flood plains should see damage increase tenfold and lives being lost, and the council is insistent it would be “super cool” to see how bad it can get.

“This is great,” explained a spokesman for the authority.  ”It’s like one of those simulation computer games where you can build up a society and then press the ‘smite’ button and watch everyone get washed away.  If we get as many houses built as cheaply as possible on all our identified flood plains, then just imagine the carnage when it properly rains – it’s going to be fantastic to watch.  Imagine the hits on the council’s YouTube channel!”

Those construction companies that haven’t gone bust in recent years are now being offered subsidies to throw up as many balsa wood shacks as they can physically manage, with source stating that thousands of jobs could be created.

The council explained it is also looking at trying to build as many houses as possible on the banks of the river Ness in the heart of the Highland Capital, enabling an even great impact come the next rainfall.

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