Human power to keep streets clean
Highland Council has launched an exciting new water powered initiative to tackle the City’s litter problem this week.
At a star studded gathering in Cubicle 3 of the Castle Wynd Bowel Bunker; it was announced that with effect from Mad Friday (the traditional high spot of the Office Christmas Party Period) every male toilet within 3 miles of the Town House steps is to be blown up; and citizens will to be urged to “Pressure their Prostates for Progress” as part of the “P-P-P Campaign”.
An excited Council spokeswoman said “We think we have taken the art of Sustainable Recycling to an All Time High and we are bound to win a Feminist award for this one! Can you imagine how many cigarette butts will be washed off the streets of Inverness in just one weekend if every potential rapist in the city did their bit to clean just 6 inches of Streetscape with their foul parts every time they needed to go?”
When informed that the idea was a load of shit because of the lack of provision for anyone wishing to launch or spray anything of a more solid nature; the spokeswoman said “Crap? Oh Crap! We didn’t think of that. We will get back to you after the City Committee meets”.
