Victorian Market traders deny responsibility
The Highland Council has issued an urgent appeal for umbrellas following the theft of the Town City Town House roof last night.
The theft is thought to have been organised in retaliation to the decision by the Highland Council to replace the 120 year old roof above the Victorian Market at the height of the “Let’s take a short cut through the Victorian Market and go to Eastgate” winter shopping season.
A Northern Plodstabulary spokesman said “I am not really sure if this theft is going to be solved. We have carried out extensive enquiries, but there is nothing on the CCTV as a result of the orders to film litter droppers or drunken lassies for “Police, Camera, Slapper”; and to be honest nobody has seen or heard or a damm thing.
“All we know is who didn’t do it because all the Victorian Market Traders were at a meeting in the Town House screaming that the roof work be postponed until January at the tops of their voices when we think the offence occurred.”
In unrelated news, the first Inverness BID Victorian Slate and Guttering Street Sculpture Festival starts tomorrow at 9am.
October 14, 2011 at 8:18 pm
Aye! Aye! Whatever happened to the great BID gutter clean up after they won £16K from the Common Good Fund to provide £24,000 to some comic with a ladder to do the job. Bogbain offered to the job for half price but was told that he knew nothing much about elf-an-safety. Then Bogbain got a complaint from the Charity shop and found the gutters were blocked with gulls feathers and other s—- so he climbed out BIDS office roof window, like he has done for the past 35 odd years, with the usual plastic bag and got the water flowing. Then a bill surfaced saying BID had paid someone over 400 quid last Sept to clean the gutter.Then consternation next door in the Pole’s hairdressers with gutters from BID above flooding the hairdresser’s floor. The farmer does his roof top trick again and complains to BID about how some clown had ripped them off. Bid reply saying that not all the 400 quid had been spent on the BID gutter. No, some of that was charged to Citizens Advise Burea next door. Farmer has a nose for rip-off merchants and checks the CAB gutter to find they were never cleaned ,but CAB say they paid BID over 400 quid for cleaning work last September.
Receptionist in CAB agrees that some scam is going on with seagulls deeply involved in bid to rip off hard pressed City merchants.
Meanwhile farmer is not paying his BID Levy till Mr Haas in Town House sorts out the BID business. No you could not make this up, so just go and see the weeds still growing on the BID roof top. Cheers Bogbain