Chinese dragons and cheerleaders help Council achieve zero-cringe level

Highland Council has declared the Inverness Highland Games a roaring success, after it achieved a number of notable “firsts”.  It is the first Games to be two days long, the first to be concluded by two spectacled Fifers, and the first to happen in the town city since, would you believe it, last year.

However, officials are keen to point out the greatest achievement of all, and that is the removal of all cringe factor, and indeed any element of Highland culture.

A spokesman explained to Inversnecky shortly before the Games’ opening ceremony: “With a kick-off involving cheerleaders and a Chinese dragon, plus a huge fairground like you’d find anywhere else, we’re delighted that the event doesn’t feel very Scottish at all.  Even the “heavies” are Icelandic.  And we’ve spoken to the Proclaimers and asked them to tone their accents down a bit, which will help.”

Inversnecky doubts they’ll manage, but looks forward to the gig anyway.